What Do You Say to a Grieving Dog Owner?

Asia, minus her dog pal

I don't know what it is, but lately I've been talking to a lot of dog owners about loss.  Last weekend it was a man in Boston's North End.  He was walking Asia, his one dog instead of the usual two.

And yesterday I caddied for a nice fellow who put his friend of 13 years down just a few months ago, and quickly bought a new Lab to replace him.  He had such joy talking about his new puppy, but it was clear my golfer was still grieving the other one.

After the round, I shared with my loop part of what we wrote in Follow the Dog Home, because in many ways he was feeling similar to how my 10-year-old daughter and coauthor Samantha did a few years ago.  Samantha came home and discovered our 12-year-old German Shepherd, Tiffany, dead on the floor.  A few months after that, we got a new German Shepherd--Beverly.  I thought all was well.  What I didn't realize was Sammy's feelings of joy for the new dog were tempered by her concern that Tiffany would think we had abandoned her.   I never would have known this had she not expressed it in her writing.

Tiffany (dog) with Amanda (left) and Samantha

So as I was saying goodbye to my golfer, I wanted to leave him with something.  I told him what Lebanese Philosopher Kahlil Ghibran wrote about in The Prophet; something that we included in Follow the Dog Home.  Sorrow carves away at your being so the vessel can be refilled in whole when joy returns.  It's like a tall glass of cold lemonade on a hot summer day.  Were we not parched in body and spirit before, the replenishment wouldn't be as refreshing.

Beverly (dog) with (L to R) Samantha, Kevin and Amanda

One Golden Dog, Two Kevin Walshes

I talked to the other Kevin Walsh.  Who's he?  He's the guy who found my Golden Retriever, Susie, on the campus of Purdue University.  I wrote about this in Follow the Dog Home on pages 147 & 148.  That's him below.

Kevin Walsh, Purdue Graduate, Dog Finder

Actually the better way to describe it is, Susie found him--on a campus of 40,000 students in West Lafayette, Indiana.  My adventurous dog slipped out of my fraternity house, as she often did, and somehow managed to find her way into a different frat.  Low and behold Susie walked into Kevin Walsh's room on the second floor of the Sigma Epsilon Phi house.  Nobody knows how she found her way there.  Satisfied with her discovery, she plunked down on his floor and took a nap.

Susie and Walsh Family, 1988

Many of our readers have told us Susie finding the other Kevin Walsh is their favorite story.  They also wondered whether I'd been in touch with my namesake, with news about the book.  Twenty three years after the 1989 discovery, we reconnected.

The other Kevin Walsh lives in suburban Chicago, and it turns out we have more in common than our name.  We're both married with children, and all of our kids are girls.  I have a Samantha (coauthor of Follow the Dog Home), he has a Samantha.  There's probably more that we'll discover later.

I'm sending Kevin a book.  He doesn't have a dog now, but he did growing up.  He tells me his wife and kids are really putting the pressure on him to get a puppy.   Something tells me after his family reads Follow the Dog Home, they'll get one.  And if they do, we'll have another good Kevin Walsh dog story to tell.

Dogs of Provincetown

If there's a place that's more dog friendly than Provincetown, Massachusetts, we don't know where it is.  We've spent the past few days in P-Town, and we're not sure whether our German Shepherd, Beverly, is going to let us leave.  She's had more fun than us--which is really saying something.

Beverly

We came here to speak about our book, Follow the Dog Home, at the Provincetown Library.  Around that, we had the kids with us for a day, before dropping them off at a Girl Scouts overnight camp farther down the Cape.  Jean and I have filled in the rest of the week with typical beach town activities.

Jean & Kevin Walsh on Cee Jay Fishing Tour

By and large, most of our time has been spent walking Commercial Street, the mecca of people/dog watching.  Beverly has absolutely loved being fussed over by friendly strangers.  We did the same with their dogs and took pictures.  Here are a few:

Maggie & Gracie, Australian Terriers

Sophie, Goldendoodle

Cairn Terrier.  Didn't get its name, but owner says it's the poster child for a Chicago area Wizard of Oz production.  Looks like Toto to me.

There are so many more, but you get the point.  We'll remember our visit to Provincetown more for the conversations we had, than for the stuff we did.  And, as always, the dogs were the conversation starter.

For more cute dog pictures from Provincetown visit us at - https://www.facebook.com/followthedoghome

Dogs & Dads

Beverly, Star of Follow the Dog Home

It's one of the greatest gifts my father ever gave me--a love of dogs.  His dad gave it to him, and I've given it to my children.  Our dogs have been with our families through five wars, the polio epidemic, The Great Depression and many, many good times.  I guess the point is, they've always been and always will be there.

Dad sitting on mother's lap with first dog, Dee Dee, looking on,  1941

The family dog is truly one of life's only constants.  Nothing has changed about them and nothing ever will.  In a world that moves increasingly fast, it's nice that one thing stays the same.

Think of the one person in your life who gave you your love of dogs.  There's a very good chance it was your dad.  Remember your dad this upcoming Father's Day weekend and give him something that will remind you why you're dog people.  In the pages of Follow the Dog Home you will see your own lives and your own stories.

Follow the Dog Home really is the perfect Father's Day gift and summer read.

Dogs at Beach

Beverly (left) with smiling Amanda (right), Sandy Beach, Cohasset, MA, 2012

If there's a happier place on earth for dogs than a beach, I don't know what it is.  Doesn't matter where the beach is, so long as there's sand and kids.  It's the open space, the water, the joyful play with children, and above all else--the smells.

We've been taking our children and dogs to the beach for years.

Jean and Bulldog, Ocean City, New Jersey 2005

The beach is doggy Nirvana.  It's just so obvious.  The picture at the top of the page and the ones below are from Sandy Beach in Cohasset, MA.  Obviously there are beach rules and dogs are not welcome until later in the day, but it's worth the wait.  Two Golden Retrievers joined Beverly and kids before the sun went down.   And when the sun set, we reflected on what was the perfect day in the perfect place.

Jim & Heather Mensching with Jean Walsh, May 2012

Puppies That Nip & How to Fix It

Bear, Chocolate Labrador

I love puppies, but those cuties really do have sharp teeth.  I ran into Bear at the TV station and he was just going to town on his leash.  Then he substituted my hands for teething.  Bear was there with Jake the Vet who does a regular segment on New England Cable News.  Jake says the best way to discourage a puppy from biting is to use your thumb as a tongue depressor.  It works.

Samantha, Naples, FL

The same theory works for taking largemouth bass off hooks.  They don't have teeth, but they have some pretty pokey bristles around their mouths.  When you stick your thumb in their mouths and hold on tightly (see above), they just go limp.

Now I know some smarty pants is probably wondering if the same thing can be applied to the human species.  I'll only say this; if someone tries it on me, they're not getting their thumb back!

How to Name a Dog

The most popular dog name in our town is Lucy.  We know that because of license registrations.
A family at our daughters' school has a Lucy.  Here she is, although she's doubled in size since this photo was taken a few months ago.

Lucy

Years ago dogs often had double names, like horses.  On top of that they had nicknames.  Below is a picture of Claudia and Fly Boy.

Claudia (top), Fly Boy (bottom)

Fly Boy was my dad's dog as a child.  He was already named when they got him.  Perhaps it had something to do with his prodigious jumping ability.  He could jump like a kangaroo or "fly", but only in one direction.  He could jump into his outdoor pen with ease, but impailed himself on efforts to jump out.  The ground was level on each side.  "Dumbest dog in the world," Dad says in Follow the Dog Home.

Dee Dee was my dad's first dog.  Dee Dee was short for Dimity Davis.  

Dee Dee (foreground), 1941

There was Frisky the Mongrel, who was better known as "Runner" because that's what he did--and usually away from home.  His speed was impressive.  So was his reading ability.  One day after a lengthy search, Dad's family found him sitting under a street sign that read Essex Avenue.  Right street, wrong town.  Runner was a couple of miles away from his true home on Essex Avenue in Montclair, NJ.

Susie and Family, 1988

Susan Marie--there's those two names again--was the family Golden Retriever.   My mom and dad had an arrangement.  She would get to name the boys, he could name the girls.  Mom and dad had three sons: Chris, Kevin and Michael.  Dad loved the name Susan Marie.  But with no girls to name, he named the dog after the daughter he never had.  We all called her Susie.

Left to right.  Kevin, Samantha, Bob holding Annie & Beverly

We are currently on our second German Shepherd.  The first was Tiffany, the second is Beverly (seen above).  We give our Shepherds girly girl names to take the edge off the reputation.  "You can't name a German Shepherd Tiffany," more than a few people have offered.  "You gotta give them a strong name like Duchess or Olga."

Uh, no we don't.

I bumped into a very cute Corgi the other day who was being walked by a young high school girl.  I like Corgis.  Their faces are as happy as a Bulldog's face is sad.  I asked the girl what the dog's name was.  She said, "Annie."  Just like my dad's Corgi, Annie, seen in the family photo above.

Annie the Corgi

Winnie the Bulldog

One final one.  Years ago I saw a high school boy walking an odd looking dog around a lake in Central California.  The dog looked like it could have been from outer space, or from Guam which is legendary for strays, or "boonie dogs."  The dog's name was Yigo, pronounced Gee'-go.  "How did you get that name?" I asked.

"Well my dad was in the Air Force and we lived in Guam.  Guam was the name of our village.  He's named after our village.  Nobody's ever heard of it."

Not true.  Not only did I know where Yigo was, I'd been there, having lived in Guam in the mid 1990s.  The dog's name sparked a much lengthier conversation after that.

Have a cool dog name story?  Share it.